


Brotherly Harassment

by LaeliDee



Category: Final Fantasy VII
Genre: Alternate Universe, Explicit Language, Implied Sexual Content, M/M, Sexual Humor
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-04-20
Updated: 2013-04-19
Packaged: 2017-12-08 23:33:44
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,766
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/767382
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LaeliDee/pseuds/LaeliDee
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After an accident with materia, Lazard is left incorporeal and has taken up haunting his brother. Is there more to his 'condition' than first meets the eye? Lazard is not the only one who is suffering from this.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Brotherly Harassment

**Author's Note:**

> I have no explanation for this and I regret nothing XD
> 
> AU and OOCness abound.
> 
> There is a plot forming from the randomness of this, depending on this chapter's reception of course.
> 
> All Ideas/comments/suggestions are more than welcome.
> 
> Disclaimer: Characters belong to Square Enix, I just borrow the poor unsuspecting buggers and traumatise them before giving them back for therapy.

Rufus Shinra had it all, money, fame, the love of his life, the world, and a ghost that didn't understand the term 'rest in peace'. This was not just any ghost trying to make his life miserable, it was his bastard half brother.

What had caused Lazard's condition was a complete mystery to everyone but himself and Genesis, there were rumours that the First Class had acquired a materia and used it on the unsuspecting blonde. Whatever happened, he had effectively become a ghost, he didn't need to eat, he couldn't sleep and he couldn't physically touch anything. Unfortunately he could be seen and he could definitely be heard.

“You really need to take a break,” Lazard grinned as he walked through the desk, standing in the middle of it, causing Rufus to slam his pen down in frustration and his eyes narrowed at the elder. He'd preferred Lazard before they got to know each other. A distant uneasy mistrust was much easier to deal with than the chirpy cheerful... _fucker_ that had a thing for harassing him.

“Surely you can find someone else to annoy. Maybe an exorcist?” He asked with a hopeful expression, “I can go and look one up for you.”

“You've done that already,” Lazard pointed out, oh they'd tried everything that they could think of to get his body back, at one point it had involved an overly eager Hojo and a distubingly well used book on necromancy. About five dead specimens came back to life, but it did nothing to Lazard apart from freak him out.

Rufus just scowled at the elder, if he'd known this would happen, he would have held off on doing the world a favour by putting a bullet in the former president's head and just let Lazard annoy him to death. “Whatever,” he muttered, shaking his head to himself, “Just because you can't do any work, doesn't mean it's all disappeared,” he grumbled.

Lazard sighed, stepping out of the desk, walking behind Rufus, he did feel guilty because he was unable to help his brother. They'd put their differences aside to replace their father, and had started working together to run the company and change the world to how they wanted it. They'd become quite close in that time, then this happened. “Why don't you palm some of this off onto Reeve and force Tseng to take the afternoon off and spend some quality time locked in your room, you look very tense...did he leave somethi-”

“If you finish that sentence I will shoot you.”

“-ng up your ass?”

_**BANG** _

“You just wasted a bullet,” Lazard sighed, “And you've marked the wall,” Shaking his head he tutted.

“I would be far less stressed if you would just leave me alone for five minutes,” Rufus muttered, pinching the bridge of his nose, it just wasn't fair, “Can't you just go and watch Sephiroth in the shower or something?”

“No.”

“But you can harass me.”

“Harassing you doesn't make me want to fuck you, however watching a naked Sephiroth in the shower makes me want to pin him down and screw him senseless, and at the moment, that is something I can't do. Besides, he's in the office today, he won't be getting all hot and sweaty by training...fuck,” He sighed, he really missed being able to touch things...some things more than others, what was worse was not feeling anything going when things should definitely be happening at such thoughts. That's what he hated about all of this, he couldn't have any contact with his lover and it was killing him. This...persona so to speak, was the only way that he was able to get through it.

“...” Rufus blinked several times, settling for shaking his head to himself, he had no idea where the hell to start with that one, not that his brother's sex life was something he really wanted to know too much about or comment on, fantasies included.

The elder laughed at his reaction, “Oh don't pretend to be such a prude, I know exactly what you and Tseng get up to,” His last words were drowned out by another shot, “Anyone would think you had a sense of humour bypass, now come and talk to your big brother, why are you so wound up?” he grinned, “Are you not getting any?”

The younger couldn't help himself at that point, all of his frustration over the day, all of the work and interruptions and annoyances erupted in a loud scream and he slammed his fists into the desk. “JUST GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY OFFICE! You are the most irritating prick I have ever had to deal with, and I have been treating with Kiseragi for the last month! Just disappear already!”

Lazard raised an eyebrow at that, and there was silence for only a few seconds before he started laughing.

“What the fuck is so funny?” Rufus' eyes narrowed at him, which only made the elder laugh harder. “Lazard!”

“What is going on in here?” Tseng entered the room and Lazard's laughter died on his lips, “The secretary phoned me up saying that she could hear gunshots and yelling,” he looked between the brothers sternly.

Lazard and Rufus looked to each other a moment, like a pair of guilty children, trying to think of a reasonable explanation to their behaviour that wouldn't result in Tseng 'going off on one', yet again. Tseng's eye twitched slightly as he silently looked between the two blondes, he could see it coming. Lazard opened his mouth and then closed it and Rufus did the same and then...

“He started it!” They spoke in unison and pointed at each other.

Tseng closed his eyes briefly as he pinched the bridge of his nose, “You are both the heads of this company, you are in control of the world. The world has certain expectations of you and how you present yourself and each other. That does not include acting like a pair of unruly children. I do not care what this was about or who started it, but it ends here and now. Lazard, just because you cannot physically do anything, it does not mean that you are no longer here and you are no longer seen. You are still as much of a public figure as Rufus. And as for you,” His stern expression turned on Rufus, “I shall deal with you later.”

Lazard grinned, his hand flicking in a whip cracking motion, complete with sound effects, although he was quick to shut up as Tseng turned back to him. “Sorry,” he muttered, although it didn't sound particularly sincere.

“I am in the process of contacting an old materia master in Wutai who might have a better idea what has happened to you,” Tseng told Lazard, “And how to sort it out.”

“Really?” Lazard looked at him hopefully, “I would kiss you but you know...Rufus mouth and everything.” he grinned. “Oh come on, all of this 'all work no play' thing doesn't do either of you any good,” he muttered, rolling his eyes. Some people just couldn't take a joke. “Fine,” he muttered on seeing their expressions, and he walked through the wall to get out of there.

The secretary screamed.

Rufus shook his head before resting it in his hands, “What am I going to do with him?” he let Tseng pull his jacket and waistcoat off, then he felt the elder's hands on his shoulders, starting to work away some of the tension.

Tseng leaned down, kissing the side of Rufus' neck, “Try to not worry yourself,” he assured soothingly, “it will all be alright.”

Rufus let his head loll forward, “Will it?” he sighed, Lazard was starting to push him over the edge of his sanity although he hated to think what it must have been like for his brother, unable to touch, unable to feel...he couldn't bear the thought of not being able to have any form of physical contact from Tseng, it must have been hell for Lazard and Sephiroth.

Tseng spun Rufus around on his chair and crouched down in front of him, “It will,” he nodded, reaching to gently touch his cheek, as if it could cement the belief in the younger man's mind. Over the last couple of years, things had changed a lot between the brothers, they'd gone from openly hostile with each other, to barely tolerating each other against the common enemy that was their father, to actually caring for each other. It was something that Tseng was more than pleased with, because Rufus deserved having family (other than himself and the Turks) to care for him, and he'd done his best to encourage it.

Rufus smiled a little, tilting his head slightly and he kissed the other's palm, “I'm sure you're right,” he commented, Tseng was rarely wrong about anything, Rufus was sure he was psychic or something. He watched Tseng a moment, “Have you got much work to do this afternoon?” he asked casually.

“Nothing that Reno cannot deal with,” Tseng answered as he dropped his hand to take Rufus'; his lips brushed against the hand in his own briefly and he stood, pulling his love to his feet, “Have you?” he asked.

“Nothing that can't be done later,” Rufus assured as he was drawn against the elder, his arms wrapping around him.

Tseng smiled as he cupped the blonde's cheek gently; his head lowered so his lips could brush against Rufus', drawing him into a slow, tender kiss that left the blonde breathless and wanting more. Rufus only allowed Tseng a few seconds before pressing a more heated and demanding kiss on him. Tseng let it carry on for a few moments before pulling his head back, “I would rather not be disturbed,” he commented; he'd been almost caught under Rufus' desk far too many times, which didn't normally matter, but he wasn't in the mood to rush things.

Rufus pouted a little as he was forced to stop and Tseng pulled away, but at the promise of moving elsewhere was enough motivation to make him exercise some patience, “No,” he agreed with a light grin, instantly heading for the door with a sudden urge to get home as quickly as possible. He headed out with Tseng, walking only for proprieties sake, while they were in view of others.

Lazard watched the pair all but run down the corridor like a couple of sexed up teenagers and he smiled wistfully to himself, _at least someone is getting some_.


End file.
